Just some thoughts

Dear Macey,

  I'm sure someday we will look back at all of the times I called you "Macey" and giggle. Only our Heavenly Father really knows what your name will be, but for my sanity, we had to stop calling you "the baby"! So, for now, we call you Macey.
  It has been a long summer of waiting. We began at #47 on the official waiting list. 5 months later (and not officially) we should be 29 or 30 when the November 1 update is released. The referrals are coming, and the list is moving. It is so encouraging to read about others as they receive that long awaited and prayed for phone call. I know in God's perfect timing, it will be our turn too.
  This summer we took your two oldest brothers (Alex and Peyton) to college. We moved them into their dorms, Alex at FAU and Peyton at UCF. It occured to me that they will have a different relationship with you than Parker and Noel. I suppose I hadn't thought about it before and it saddened me a bit. They will not see you every morning when all start the day. They won't be at home on the weekends when we are hanging out as a family. They won't be home in the evenings to hug goodnight before we all go to bed. It will just be different. and it will be okay. I know this is exactly how God intends it to be, it is just a thought I am trying to get used to. We will be intentional about nurturing your relationship with Alex, Peyton and Rachel as much as possible. As for Noel and Parker, they will be the luckier ones for sure. But either way, I know, with each one you will hold a precious place in their hearts. I know that as you grow, so will their love and addoration of you. I am still blown away that God has chosen us to be a part of that. That he is going to allow us to experience that.... with you!!!
What a gracious, merciful and generous God we serve. I am thankful for the gift of you Macey!

We love you already!
-mommy

Officially waiting for you

Dear Macey,
 After 11 months of paperwork, prayers and patience, we have been given a place on the waiting list. We are relieved to be moving into the next phase of this process. It is a much needed rest from the constant paper chase it has been. Worth every single bit of it, but still, we are happy for a break.  It almost feels like we are running a marathon (not that mom or dad has ever or will ever run one). We started off running strong, trying hard to put the first few miles behind us. Step after step we found ourselves making progress. Now we can settle in to the next few miles at a steady pace moving up the list a little each month. But the beautiful day that we get "that" call, I know God will breathe into us a second wind. He will have us sprinting to the finish line, where you will be waiting for us to wrap you up in our arms and celebrate the end of the race and bring you home forever!

Annise Koops <akoops@adoptionassociates.net>	5/10/13
to me

Hi Justo and Velina,

You are placed at #45 on the wait list. Now the waiting begins! At this point, our best estimate for a time frame is about 12 months before receiving a referral. Please remember this is always an estimate :) 

Can you verify with me again what age, gender, and number of children you desire? We like to confirm that at the time the dossier is mailed.

Warmly,

Annise Koops, LBSW

Africa Team

Butterflies

Dear Macey,
  I know I'm behind on writing. I want so much to keep up with everthing so one day I can share with you the journey that led us to you. But, so many times I feel like I need to have something profound or eloquent to say. I can't find the words to express what is happening right then, so I don't write at all. I know one day I will regret that, so I am just going to tell it ilke it is from now on. If it comes out beautiful, then super, if not, then at least you will know I tried :)
  So, what brings be to write, right now? We are hours away from knowing our official number on the waiting list! Everybit of paperwork, forms, letters, notaries, seals, signatures, recommendations, stamps, money orders and mostly prayers, are behind us! Huge Milestone! This is where our "wait" for you officially begins. It took 8 months and a lot of leg work to get to this point. Everybit of it already worth it, and we haven't even met you, but already we love you.
  Our Dossier was tracked today and it was confirmed that our agency has it now. This means... 1) It cleared the State Department in Washington D.C. with no issues or flaws 2) It cleared the Ethiopian Embassy with no issues or flaws 3) It has made it back to Michigan to our agency. In the next day or two it will be on it's way to Ethiopia. I have butterflies as I wait for the call/email that will mean we start our wait for you. I've never been so excited to have to wait. Not that we want to wait for you, but we know everyday we wait is one day closer to the day we finally get to hold you!
 We love you already Macey!

Next Easter?

Dear Macey,
 It is almost Easter! On Sunday we will celebrate the resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ! Easter is the day that we recognize that God raised Jesus from the dead and took Him to reign in heaven forever as our Father. Somewhere in the process of history, we came up with Easter eggs and an Easter Bunny! I guess possibly because Easter is equated with Springtime. I'm not quite sure, but I will research it so I can teach you. Anyhow, as each holiday passes this year, I can't help but wonder, the next time it comes around will you be with us? Next Easter will there be a little easter basket for you? Will the Easter Bunny fill it with goodies and treats for you? Will you be with us so that we can hide a few little eggs for you to find? Maybe you'll be too little for that yet? Will we get to dress you up in an extra pretty dress and put a big bow in your hair? Will you be here, so that we can all go to church together that day? Will we take you next Easter to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior of the world? Will that be the first year we get to tell you about the miracle God performed by rolling the stone away from Jesus's grave and proclaiming that Jesus is ALIVE!! ?  We pray that you will be here. We pray that next Easter you will be waking up here, in your home. Only God knows that answer and we trust him fully to bring you in his time.
 Even still, I am once again checking the mail like a crazy woman. Everytime I open the mailbox I peek in and move the pieces of mail around to see if I see the approval letter. It is the very last peice of paper that we need to move forward with our reuqest for you. One simple piece of paper. It will come, I know. It is so hard waiting sometimes though. I should pray for more patience. I will. The day is coming Macey, that we will get to hold you and kiss your precious face. What a wonderful thought that is!
We love you Macey!

One small step closer

Dear Macey,
 The notice for your brother's appointment finally arrived! Every step we put behind us makes me so extremely happy, and this is no exception. Alex and I will drive to Jacksonville this week to USCIS for his fingerprinting. Just Alex and I will go since Daddy will be working and your other brothers and sister have school. So, when the prints are processed and cleared we should receive the approval for your visa. Once the U.S. approves a visa for you, then we are able to petition the Ethiopian Embassy for your adoption. When our petition is received, their courts will send us your referral. The referral is a file that will contain a picture of you (Oh, how I cannot wait for that!!) your medical records, your families information (if available) your name, birthdate/age and any other information that they may be able to provide about you.
  I have to look back and remind myself how far we have come already. I have to remind myself how this time last year, we didn't even know that the gift of you would be given to us. When I look at it through those eyes, it is very reassuring that we are just about half way there. We are all so very, very excited! So many people ask about you. I don't recall one day since we started this journey to you, that someone hasn't asked about you. It might be a friend, someone from the school, someone at Daddy's work, someone at church. You just wouldn't believe all of the people who are excited for you to get here. It brings me so much joy to think about you being loved by so many people.
We do love you Macey, already!

His love...

Dear Macey,
   Our mailman has never seen so much of me as he has these last couple of weeks. I catch him frequently before he even gets a chance to put the mail in our mailbox. I flip through the pieces, not even noting who they are from or what they are. I am only looking for a pink piece of paper peeking through the envelope window. I know this is the color of the notices that come from USCIS, from the many we have already received. This one will have the date that we can take your brother Alex for his fingerprints.
   Instead of allowing these delays to discourage me, God has given me a peace about them. Though we are anxious to overcome them and move forward each time, I know they are a part of God's timeline. For whatever reason, they (the delays) are what will allow us to find you in His perfect timing. Each setback or obstacle is His way of reminding us that He is in control, not us. He is the author of our story and yours. He will write the lines and assign the roles, and it will be perfect because it is His.
   If we could wrap our minds around how much He loves us, we would be blown away. It is incomprehensible how much He cares for us. Macey, the sequence of events that God put in place to bring You, specifically you, not just any child, but you Macey, home to be with us is nothing less that amazing! I want you to know these things because I want you to know with not a doubt in your mind or heart that God had a plan for you long before you were born. He was busy writing your story before your little heart ever took it's first beat. He had a place and a purpose for you, and that means you are very special.
   I will tell you the story, and I will write the details so that when you are old enough, you will understand. You will know that the God of the Universe loves YOU, adores YOU and longs to walk with YOU everyday of your life. God has done great things for you Macey!  He gave His son's life for you to save you from the sin of the world so that you could spend eternity with Him in heaven. He made a way for you to be forgiven when you make mistakes. He made hope possible for you and made sure that you would never have to feel alone. He will be your best friend and greatest love, all in one!
   
    Where your story meets our story is only the beginning. He has big plans for you and I know He wants to use you in ways that we can not even begin to imagine. I will forever be full of gratitude and awe at the role He is allowing us to play in this. What a magnificent, merciful, gracious God we worship.
  Each day we wait for you, is purposed by Him. I will rest in that until we hold you.
 We love you already!

"Depraved Indifference"

Daydreams

Dear Macey,

There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of you at least 100 times! Somedays I daydream about what you will look like. I think about your eyes, your cheeks, your smile and your little fingers. Somedays I worry that I won't know what to do with your hair (lucky for you we have plenty of friends that have offered lessons). Somedays I wonder if you are even born yet. I try to do the calculations in my head, figuring in the estimated time left in the process and taking into consideration the age that we have request you be (under 12 months). Somedays I wonder if your mother and father will be alive and if so, will we get to meet them. I daydream about rocking you, feeding you, bathing you and dressing you. I daydream about Daddy and I playing with you and helping you learn new things. I daydream about the day Daddy and I will have your dedication at church and what an amazing feeling that will be! I think about your brothers and sisters seeing you for the first time. I think about the tears of joy that will certainly be free flowing that day. I think about them holding you and embracing you into our family. I daydream about Rachel, Alex and Peyton all making a special trip home just to meet you. I think about Parker and Noel helping get things ready in the days just before we bring you home.

Most of all though, I daydream about the day Daddy and I lay our eyes on your precious face for the first time. I play it over and over in my mind and I just can't begin to wrap my head around what that will be like! I think I just might be weak kneed and speechless. I can't wait for that day! It feels so close and still so far.

We love you already!

Distractions...

Dear Macey,

While I knew all along that the process to bring you home would be a long one, I don't think I could have imagined how it would really feel. It seems like we started so long ago but yet we still have so far to travel (and not just in miles).

The process has been moving along gradually since my last post. We completed the enormous undertaking of the homestudy, that in itself was a huge milestone. We applied to the Department of Homeland Security for your orphan visa approval. We left for Jacksonville on Christmas night to make our appointment on Dec.26 to have our fingerprinting completed by USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). We were then waiting for the approval. On Jan. 24 we received notice from USCIS that they want Alex (who turned 18 just after the homestudy was complete) to be finger printed as well. Now, mind you, we have all been fingerprinted already by the Children's Home Society. This was done in order to complete the homestudy. We were really not expecting to have to take Alex through the USCIS process as well. So, as of right now we are waiting for his appointment date to take him to, yes Jacksonville. Once we have completed that step we will wait for the final approval from them. We have to have this approval before we can send our Dossier to Ethiopia. The Dossier is the bundle of documents, applications and certificates that the Ethiopian Embassy requires to consider/process your adoption request.

We know beyond any doubt that the moment we see your beautiful face in the referral picture, this will all fade away and we will be left with hearts full of you. Until then we will be patient and endure this process. We know there are so many out there going through the same steps we are. We also know tht there are many who will wait years before they bring a child home, and some may never see that dream come true. We are thankful for God's peace in this and we rely soley on Him to see us and you through this.

We love you already!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: July 20, 2012

Progress! Whoop, Whoop!

Dear Macey,

So, it's been a few days. I am going to work on being more consistent with my posts. Anyhow, after a few minor hiccups we are back on track. When we started the adoption process I agonized over which agency to use. But, I was so excited that I didn't do the research I should have and we quickly realized that in my impatience I had not made the best decision. I know as a whole the agency is a reputable one and I know they have led many families on successful journeys to find their forever family. But early on (and I thank God for that) we realized it just wasn't a fit for us. This process is long, trying and can get hairy sometimes; knowing this we just wanted to make sure that the agency we were "married" to through this process was one we felt a connection and comfortable with.

Whew! So, on we go. Starting over with the new agency, we have completed the application process (again!) and that is no small feat. We have selected a home study agency here locally and are well on our way with that process as well. Our application with the adoption agency has moved onto to the dossier stage. This is the part of the process where they put together every possible legal document related to you, your husband, your family and your finances together. This I have been told is a lengthy process in itself. And once we compile the documents here and they are all certified as legal, the file is then sent to Ethiopia and goes through a translation process. So, in the meantime we are beginning the education requirements and learning more and more about the joys, blessings and challenges of international adoption.

We, at some point had to make a final decision on the age of the child we would like to request. This was very difficult. We thought a "3" sounded good, but then what about the years we missed? After praying and seeking professional advice from a family counselor we decided to request a 9-18 month old, still a girl, and still open to any siblings God may have in store for us. This was tough! Did that mean now that we are trying to step on God's toes? What if he intended for us to have a "3"? Then, I know somehow, it will be that we get a "3". Whether it's a sibling or whatever. But as we carefully considered the counselors advice, we decided we want the absolute best possible scenario for our baby, not for us.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

ORIGINAL POST DATE: Thursday, July 5, 2012

Process update

So, it is official! We received a call from the adoption agency this afternoon verifying that our application is in process. Once it is finalized, the next step will be to begin our home study. This is the process by which they look in every nook and cranny of your life to make sure your a fit parent. They will also interview our children to make sure we have a healthy functioning family. Seems to be a lengthy process with an enormous amount of paperwork, but worth every bit of it! We are extremely excited and willing to do whatever it takes!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 7/5/12 What a waste... Our trip to Kenya was nothing short of life changing. But even beyond that, through it God changed our hearts, our perspective and our vision for the future. Cobwebs that had covered our eyes forever were wiped away by His mighty hands. Every minute of each day there, God was our tour guide, showing us the beauty despite the poverty and brokeness. He taught us there, that love truly is the universal language. We were there 8,000 miles away from what we called home, in a village of approximately 2,000. We were 13 outsiders from a foreign land, but you would have never known. We were welcomed, literally with open arms and open hearts. The people of Kiu, Kenya I know have to be some of the most loving people anywhere on earth. Their love was genuine and abundant, and I quickly learned that I wanted to know how to love strangers like that! After all, isn't that what God calls us to do? Each day we spent in Kenya, God was strategically weaving new desires and dreams in and through mine and my husbands heart. Our love for the Kenyans grew more each day. At times I felt like I had been there loving them for years. But it was the kids that really stole my heart. Each one of them were so beautiful and so precious. Their smiles could light up the night sky and their laughter could warm the coldest heart. It was something I had never experienced before, and I felt God's joy as He watched us learn. Each afternoon we would leave and I was sad. I wanted more time with them, more hugs, more love, more laughs.... It was never enough. The love was growing, getting bigger and bigger and more and more. True love is multiplied not divided, when we give it away. So now what? We have left Kenya and my heart is broken for the children. I never knew what that meant, to have your heart really break for something. God had taught me through them a new level of compassion and unconditional love. Every minute, for days after we left, I kept thinking to myself, "What a waste this new found love is!" "God, what am I suppose to do with all of this? There is no way I can wait a year to return to Kenya, my heart will burst!" So, I prayed. and prayed and prayed for God to show me. "Please show me what to do with this abundance of love!" I've heard the saying, "love isn't love until you give it away" so if I can't give it away, then it's going to die and go to waste. That was my biggest fear, to lose the love we had found in the people there. I knew God would not allow that to happen. I knew He had a plan! "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jer 29:11

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 7/2/12

Hello Friends! 

  We are starting this blog for several reasons. Most importantly, we want to document our timeline as we embark on an amazing journey that God is leading us on. We also want to be able to share our experience with our friends and family, even when we can't update everyone individually. We want others who may be headed on the same journey to be able to gain encouragement and possibly learn from our story. After a lot of prayer, but not a doubt in our mind we are ready to be obedient to what God has in store for us. We are beyond excited that God has chosen to use us! Through adoption, we are going to shower a child; who is one of 4.3 million orphans in ethiopia, with His love.    Our first few blogs will go back in time to reflect on how God lead us to this place in time. It is so amazing to me that His plan is always so perfect and His timing is always right. Even in the times when we just feel like a flounderer, He is using every part of our lives to work for our good and His glory! As many of you know we have recently returned from a medical mission trip to Kenya. We fell in love with the people of Africa, and God used that time there to change both mine and my husbands hearts in a way that we would have never dreamed. Our God is so faithful and He is good, all of the time! We can't wait to share our journey with you. Each step of the way, hardships and heartaches, up and downs, joys and triumphs we want you with us. We promise to be honest and transparent in my blogging and to share our deepest feelings so that the true story can be told as it unfolds! Thank you for reading, we hope that you will continue to follow us, as we follow Him!